Body Language

If the eyes are our windows to the soul, then our hands are the doorways.

About ten years ago I began studying Buddhism. Thich Nhat Hanh and the Dali Lami were my instructors, and I absorbed their wisdom from their many published books. The first answer I sought was "How do I meditate?" I thought there was a hard and fast rule. I wanted a list: Do this, this and this. Do not do this. Sit this way. Burn incense. Say "Ohm." I did eventually find some guidance about how to calm my mind enough for stabilizing meditation, but as I got older I learned it has very little to do with the way you are sitting. Hahn was the first to introduce the idea of walking meditation and working meditation to me and I often use his techniques to achieve some calm in my daily life. The only constant I use is my hands: always together to create a circle of energy through my body.

As soon as I lace my fingers together, I immediately start to relax. As I am preparing to sleep for the night, I wrap my hands together on my chest. I often wake up with my hands clasped above my head, to my side, or in any number of strange positions but almost always with my hands together. If I am going through my daily life and feeling introspective, you may notice my hands are together and that usually means I am meditating on something.

While I am doing my walking meditation, I often see couples holding hands. It never fails to make me smile and I wonder if they feel a calming sense when they grab the hand of their loved one. I can remember walking through Barcelona in the middle of what seemed to be a riot, my grip on my partner's hand getting tighter as my anxiety grew. He immediately sensed my discontent and guided me to walk behind him through the crowd, holding my hand behind him and creating a path through the crush of people. His calm energy flowed into me and calmed my frazzled nerves.

When I was a child, I was plagued by worry and restlessness. I shared a room with my Nana and we had our twin beds pushed together. When I tossed and turned at night, she would awake. I would complain of being unable to sleep. She took my hand and instructed me to lie still and not move and sleep would overtake me. She knew I was a worried child, and I'll never forget her words of advice: "Don't waste your time worrying over what might happen. The worst things that will happen in your life you will never imagine- they will come out of nowhere and you will never be prepared for them. The things you waste your time worrying about will never happen." I fell asleep every night that year holding my Nana's hand.